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58 Days Sober – Self Pity is a Drinking trigger

Posted by Sober Tony on April 13, 2017 Leave a Comment

It’s three days into my latest dry spell and I’m just feeling down.

More exactly, I’m feeling sorry for myself.

Some new health concerns showed up yesterday. It’s nothing terrible, just the normal progression of bad habits and getting older. This news is a green light for my inner addict. He  whispers, “This is shit. Why not have something to drink?”

Drinking, likely a weeklong blackout, is our favorite way to handle bad news and indulge in some self pity. It’s probably my most consistent trigger. I don’t need anything major, just a slight misfortune or cloudy day.

The cat died – I got drunk.
I argued with my wife (or girlfriend) – I got drunk.
The taxes came due – I got drunk.
I caught a cold – I got drunk.
My political party lost – I got drunk.
They didn’t ask me to coach my son’s team – I got drunk.
I felt unappreciated at work – I got drunk.
My wife wasn’t in the mood – I got drunk.
My favorite team lost a game – I got drunk.
A business deal fell through – I got drunk.
My car needed new brakes – I got drunk.
My favorite restaurant closed – I got drunk.
An elderly friend finally died – I got drunk.

That’s the basic pattern. I would discover my life wasn’t perfect, feel sad about it, drink myself sick for a week.

It’s obvious to see this kind of habit loop only makes problems worse. In the short term, things didn’t seem to matter a few beers later. In the long term everything got worse, eventually nothing felt like it mattered anymore. Some days I would drink just to anticipate potential problems.

It’s a cycle. Negative events ➡️ negative feelings ➡️ negative actions (drinking) ➡️more negative events. It’s a basic rule if life. In any situation, just add liquor and everything turns to shit. When you put poison in any recipe, the outcome is going to be healthy.

Today is going to be different.

I’m looking for a better response to the trigger of self pity. This blog post is one step. I already went jogging. Next up, I’m making a list of positive options to respond to my bad news. I’m not worried about follow through, just making the list so I can feel like I’m in control.

  1. Search Google about the health problem
  2. Get some OTC products to help
  3. Find some recipes to eat better
  4. Make other lifestyle choices to help
  5. Go visit the doctor
  6. Get prescription medication
  7. Journal when the symptoms occur
  8. Take a nap

Related

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  1. 9 Days Sober: What caused my drinking problem? I’ve been thinking a lot about this question and I’m making some discoveries. Of course I’m not a “specialist” on addiction, but I’ve been reflecting on my downward spiral and...
  2. 36 Days Sober – My “never again” list… since I’ve quit drinking I’m done. I used to get pissed, now I’m just pissed off. Alcohol made me a powerless slave. I’m angry that I was a willing subject. It was brainwashing, but I liked...
  3. 15 Days Sober: Five lies I told myself before I stopped drinking I’ve been lying to myself. That’s a central piece of the addiction puzzle. We can’t be honest about the problem that alcohol has become in our lives. So here are...
  4. 6 weeks sober: 42 days without drinking and learning to cope with life Despite my cool laundry day selfie, it’s been a rough week. After 6 weeks sober, I’m feeling mixed up. There are two story lines in my brain. First, I can’t...
  5. 97 Days Sober – Songs That Make Me Crave Drinking Alcohol This weekend, I wrote a post for KLEN and SOBR talking about how music has helped my recovery. Click here to ready it (don’t laugh, the music proves I’m a 30-something white guy). It was...
  6. 33 Days Sober: How long after I quit drinking before my sleep returns to normal? The quick answer: It depends on the person, but relief will come if you give it time. Two weeks to several months is normal. That’s me proving sleep can happen...

Filed Under: Getting Sober

About Sober Tony

Tony is the founder and editor of Daily Recovery Club. He is a widely respected authority (in his own mind). He's just trying to live a little longer and a lot stronger.

This blog is not professional or medical advice, rather a support community for others suffering from alcoholism. We are all experts on failure, starting over, and trying to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Find him on Twitter @soberTony

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