Zero.
That’s how much interest I had in alcohol free beer when I was drinking.
I thought anything under 6% ABV was a waste of time. At best, non-alcoholic beer was for kids who wanted to feel grown-up. At worst, that fake beer was an abomination in the sight of all things Holy.
But last night, I tried some O’Doule’s. ????????♂️ That’s a headsmack emoji used in the right context.
It didn’t feel like a craving, just a curiosity. I’ve missed beer and wanted to know if it was possible to separate the drink from its addictive history in my mind. The results were a definite NO.
8 Reasons I Hate Non-alcoholic Beer ????????
1. It actually tastes like real beer, which instantly made me want real beer.
2. I didn’t want to stop after one. It wasn’t the mindless compulsion like when I was drinking, but I did finish the 6-pack. To be fair, I’m drinking about as many seltzer water each evening instead of snacking.
3. I had to walk through the beer isle at Kroger. That literally made my mouth water and eyes linger on all the new craft beers. It’s not a safe place for me to hang around.
4. It triggered my old habits loops. Cue ➡️Routine ➡️Reward. I’ve worked hard to reprogram those through recovery. But last night, I was sipping on the AF beer and watching Netflix for about 5 hours.
5. I felt a placebo effect of fake drinking – more relaxed, decreased social anxiety, a little sleepy. Some part of my mind didn’t know the difference.
6. It has more calories than my La Croix. I’m not hung over, but definitely bloated from all those damn carbs after dinner.
7. It’s sold by the big brewers. That’s a money decision, but I’m convinced they have a secret memo or research project about this shit. It’s almost the perfect relapse bait, hidden in the beer section and keeping the habit side of drinking strong.
8. Last night, I fantasized about moving up to light beer. That was the “ah-ha” moment for me. The little addiction whisper had a receptive audience. “It’s cool. Now that you are in recovery, it’s ok to mix in a light beer with this stuff.” I know that’s a lie.
Should an alcoholic drink non-alcoholic beer?
My experience says no. It’s just asking for trouble and has less benefits than seltzer water. You own your recovery, but I’m done with this experiment.
Maybe someone on a harm reduction plan could do something like 1:1 fake beer to real beer. But if you could do that, you haven’t reached the powerless stage of step one.
Will I try it again?
Hell no – It was a stupid idea.
I was curious, but I didn’t tell my sponsor (until Twitter) or turn the issue over to my higher power. In other words, I wasn’t being honest to my step work. That’s a character defect that needs removed.
I don’t need to play with fire to know it’s hot. My fight or flight instinct kept screaming:
Wake up you stupid fuck. ???? This is part of the trap, ADDICTION wants you to lower your guard. It’s not a slippery slope, it’s a danm sinkhole.
I’m starting to imagine those Korean War veterins from my AA home group for my Sober Tony self talk.
Was this a relapse or just a lapse?
I’m not sure if the labels matter, but here’s what I’m thinking:
- I wasn’t physically drunk. There was no chemical intoxication, I was sober as seltzer water. So the sober date still counts.
- One day at a time. If anything this experience has given me fresh motivation to abstain from alcohol.
- I’m polling my Twitter friends, their feedback is always helpful.
Should I call it a relapse if I drank 6 non-alcoholic beers last night?
— Sober Tony (@sobertony) May 26, 2017
What do you think?
Have you ever tried alcohol free beer? What was your experience? Leave a comment and get the conversation started.
Any bloggers who have written about this please leave me a link in the comments and I’ll add it to the post.
Update:
Some second thoughts – from the Since Right Now podcast about alcohol free beer.
At the start of Episode 3.19 of Since Right Now, Jeff and Chris talk about N/A beer. Check it out on iTunes or Soundcloud, or whatever. It definitely relates to your current study of alcohol free beer.
By the way, O’Douls is the worst option for N/A beer. There are varieties out there that actually taste good.
That said, if it’s dangerous territory then it shouldn’t be used. Some people are able to use it responsibly. There are varieties that have 0.0 % alcohol. It’s a personal choice.
Thanks for the tip. I’ll look that one up. Podcasts have been a big help, like having a meeting in the car with me.
I’m going call it dangerous for me. I’ve come too far to jump back into those “I ♥️????” thoughts.
Nice post! I encourage you to allow yourself some flexibility inside the rigidity of AA. It’s a one-size fits all program. I see that what you’ve done here is TEACH YOURSELF something very important. You’ve developed personal insight from your – test. And that is invaluable. It’s something AA/a sponsor could not have taught you.
If AAers could remove all of their character defects – would there be any human left? I’m reminded of an old Star Trek episode where Kirk is arguing with an alien because the alien wants to zap Kirk’s anger (character defect) out him and render him peaceful forever and ever. And Kirk bellows back “My anger is part of who I am – it makes me who I am!”
‘Character defect’ is – I think – a terrible term. There’s nothing defective about addicts. We’re not inanimate objects.
“Have you ever tried alcohol free beer? What was your experience? Leave a comment and get the conversation started.”
Yes – but only to taste it. I haven’t and wouldn’t ever consider drinking alcohol-free beer in sobriety. When I did drink, I wouldn’t drink beer alone – it always accompanied shots. Beer doesn’t have enough alcohol and it’s too filling. For me, the idea of drinking alcohol-free anything that mimics an alcoholic beverage is a sad joke. If I’m going to drink something that tastes like beer, it better affect me the way I know beer does – and that would mean – bring on the wine.
Pass.
I’ve worked too hard to get where I am and I’ve got better things to do than play mind-fuck games with myself.
Everyday is another new lesson is living sober. This one was a little gross ???? but I would’ve never believed all the shit happening even without the chemical intoxication.
I love your closing line ???? that’s what we are here to do. Smash ADDICTION and get on with our lives.
Hi Tony!
I once tried AF red wine.
That was a huge trigger for me.
So no more of that!
The AF beer doesn’t bother me, but I rarely have it.
It makes me too gassy!!
xo
Wendy
I’ve never actually tried AF beer, but I’m so happy I read your post! You diminished my curiosity to ever try it. The important thing is you learned from your experience. This is absolutely not a relapse in my opinion! Good on you for sharing this experience.
Thanks Sara.
I had a good talk with my sponsor about the incident. The big take away was be vigilant of my motivation.
For me it felt like all the tactile habits cues came roaring back even without the chemical replase ???? Very confused experience.
Thanks for reading.
Okay, broski… Here’s the deal. Non-alcoholic beer, a misnomer if ever there was one, has alcohol in it. Read the fine print. Six beers, you had a little less than half a real beer’s worth of alcohol.
The problem is, the body remembers the alcohol. You are very lucky that after six, your body and mind didn’t unite to convince you to fully relapse.
You were as close as you can get to a relapse without actually relapsing.
I know this because I did the same stupid thing 24 years ago.
Stay sober, Tony… and away from fake beer. Good luck.