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Addiction Kicked My Ass this Month

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I’ve been really quiet on the blog and on Twitter.

Too quiet.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been drinking again and was quickly sliding back into the hell of addiction. I don’t blame circumstances, it was my choice to go back to drinking. It’s also my choice to go sober again.

Yoda - Up the Fuck we must wake

Today I am working on my recovery again, but still trying to figure out what happened, but here is a rough sketch of the events.

Why did my sobriety fall apart?

  • left behind my girlfriend in Haiti
  • very depressed from BP meds
  • burnout on the sobriety project
  • came back to America with a drinking as plan B
  • made new bad decisions
  • more x-wife and kids stress
  • isolated myself from the recovery community
  • lied to my sponsor (and avoided him)

Why I’m going sober again?

  • it never felt right or happy
  • I didn’t forget how good sober felt
  • I really couldn’t get drunk
  • always woke up feeling defeated
  • knew I was better than this

Progress not perfection

After reaching out to the recovery community again, I have felt so much acceptance and strength to get my life back in the right direction.

Even with this “lapse” I’m still a different person than before recovery. I feels like a setback, but something I can learn from and keep moving forward.

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Comments

  3. I’ve relapsed more than my fair share and although it’s not a requirement it’s also not inexcusable. Good to see you made it back, too. Not everybody does. ????

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