Addiction Kicked My Ass this Month

I’ve been really quiet on the blog and on Twitter.

Too quiet.

For the last 2 weeks I’ve been drinking again and was quickly sliding back into the hell of addiction. I don’t blame circumstances, it was my choice to go back to drinking. It’s also my choice to go sober again.

Today I am working on my recovery again, but still trying to figure out what happened, but here is a rough sketch of the events.

Why did my sobriety fall apart?

• left behind my girlfriend in Haiti
• very depressed from BP meds
• burnout on the sobriety project
• came back to America with a drinking as plan B
• made new bad decisions
• more x-wife and kids stress
• isolated myself from the recovery community
• lied to my sponsor (and avoided him)

I'm trying to get back on the saddle. Calling on the #recoveryposse for help. New #sobercount = 1

— Sober Tony (@sobertony) June 29, 2017

Why I’m going sober again?

• it never felt right or happy
• I didn’t forget how good sober felt
• I really couldn’t get drunk
• always woke up feeling defeated
• knew I was better than this

Progress not perfection

After reaching out to the recovery community again, I have felt so much acceptance and strength to get my life back in the right direction.

Even with this “lapse” I’m still a different person than before recovery. I feels like a setback, but something I can learn from and keep moving forward.

To all of us rising up today and setting the world on fire, well done! There's no stopping us now! I just need to … https://t.co/7FyS4edKl9 pic.twitter.com/O0aXQgUEvv

— Susanne Blumer (@susanneblumer) June 29, 2017