Daily Recovery Club

living sober one day at a time

I need help and can’t manage my own recovery

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I’m getting sick of writing bullshit “I’m starting over” kind of blog posts.

Addiction gets old ….

It’s no wonder family and friends lose all faith in our recovery.

  1. We admit we’re powerless
  2. then get some time sober
  3. we start feeling we’re in control
  4. then we ease back into old thoughts
  5. then we try a little a drink (because we’ve changed)
  6. then we lose another chunk of years to blackouts

Just yesterday, a guy at my meeting said it this way:

AA works until it doesn’t work anymore. Then we’re fucked because nothing works. You can’t go back because nothing works again.

I can’t believe that because too many people have come out on the other side. Hopeless drunks who figured out how to get sober, truly recover, and move forward with living.

Interrupted Not Erased

Sitting in the meeting yesterday, I kept hearing so many familiar things.

Recover is not new to me anymore, I’ve listened and learned so much in the past few years. I’ve read a dozen books on sobriety and overcoming addiction. I’ve worked through the steps and felt the weight of the world lifted. I’ve practiced honesty, daily dependence on my higher power, and tried to help others find some help.

Here’s the damn problem – it’s Tony.

Being the smart guy didn’t keep me sober. When I got to my first 90 days I still went home and hated myself. I still woke up every day living with the hurt I’ve caused others. Sitting here right now – I still just want to be erased.

I can’t manage my own recovery because I’m the ass who screwed things up in the first place.

So that’s where I’m starting over – with the tools to change but a new conviction that I need outside help.

Now that I’ve blogged the “I suck and need help” step again, it’s probibly time to go find some help.

Keep coming back!

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About Sober Tony

Tony is the founder and editor of Daily Recovery Club. He is a widely respected authority (in his own mind). He's just trying to live a little longer and a lot stronger.

This blog is not professional or medical advice, rather a support community for others suffering from alcoholism. We are all experts on failure, starting over, and trying to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Find him on Twitter @soberTony

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alex says

    I’ve posted on here before but try giving Naltrexone a chance. It’s not for everyone but it does work for many people.

    You have to take a pill one hour before you drink. That’s it. No meetings, no beating yourself up and thinking you are a sinner. No AA servitude.

    Google it and then have a look at some testimonials on YouTube.

    Good luck!

    Reply

    • Sober Tony says

      Thanks. I remember that from before, I never made it back to a doctor last time. I’ll look it up for sure.

      Reply

  3. Finding a Sober Miracle says

    I was just going through my blog, and one of yours that I had reblogged came up. I thought, “Whatever happened to Tony?” and HERE YOU ARE!

    And by the way, you’re describing my own recovery exactly. If I’d actually picked up every white chip I was entitled to, I’d have had hundreds. But you know what they say? Fall down 1000 times, get up 1001. That’s all it takes. I know you can do this, Tony. You’ve done far harder things. I can feel the universe lining up in your favor. All you have to do is accept that you are worth saving. 💕

    Reply

  4. Tom says

    hey guys is this a website to join or is it just comments the reason I ask is Iam 42 days sober today but very emotional I don’t know why…..I googled 42 days sober and sober tony came up and Iam 39 so was just looking to join u guys in conversation

    Reply

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