Today was kinda blah.
I didn’t feel like I was making much progress. Just doing mundane things. Jogging. Chatting on Twitter. Napping. Teasing the kids. Watching a film.
I kept hearing this advice in my head:
Recovery is more than giving up alcohol. Are you sober or just a dry drunk? You need to be working the program.
My brain was repeating what I’ve heard in a dozen forms. To stay sober I need positive action, to always make new assaults on the subconscious strongholds of my addiction. It sounds true and I’ll probably agree once I’m an old-timer.
Today it sounds like noise.
I’ve been sober for 38 days. Some hard, but most easy. I have one controlling desire – never fall back into the alcohol trap. There is only one strategy to make that happen. It’s living ODAAT.
- Each day of sobriety is a new world record.
- Each day is proof that I’m not worthless.
- Each day is a reason for my kids to have hope.
- Each day I discover a new universe.
- Each day is the biggest victory of my life.
Sometimes I’m crawling in the mud. Other times I’m skipping through an open field. All that matters is getting distance between me and the dungeon called addiction.
Recovery is my full-time job right now. I’m learning about this disease, facing my demons, reaching out for help, and following the 12 steps. That’s my only long-term shot for beating this addiction. My program has ambitious goals and I’m fighting hard for every inch of progress.
But today, if I accomplish nothing but remain sober, it’s still a victory.
Sobriety is the win. Everything else is noise.