DEAR S.O.B.,
I hope you’re having a good laugh. Working the 12 steps doesn’t mean I’m going to take this shit. Especially from you.
Don’t think I don’t know who you are? It’s so obvious, I’m not sure you’re still trying. I know your game, even if I haven’t decided what to call you.
Becauae you’re a part of me, the drinking part of me — The alcohol fiend. Drunk Tony. My lower power. …. Better yet, let’s call you history.
Yes, that photo says it all. Life is more fun with anyone other than you. Face it, I’ve had the best month of my life. You lost and can’t handle the fact that I’m free.
So what? You sneak around on a perfect Friday afternoon. You whisper little lies in my head. You try to start fights with my friends. You want me alone because you think I’m weak. You still haven’t learned that I’m itching for a fight. Kicking your ass is my new hobby.
Hey Addiction — God made a special finger for people like you. ???? And I made a little poem too.
Pink cloud or grey,
Fuck you.
I’m not drinking today.
Tony, I like what John H. said about this on twitter: “life gets better, not easier.” You are still “newly sober” and your body is still adjusting. I often attend a newcomers meeting here. It seems a lot of people fall off that pink cloud around 40-50 days. Just my observation; not scientific, lol. For me, the initial pink cloud was immense relief. Almost giddiness. But from about 2 months to 4 months I was pretty depressed. Eventually, it all evened out. From my seat, everything you are experiencing is normal. Keep at it!
Thank you for the encouragement and sharing your experience. I really have learned so much from the whole recovery posse on Twitter. I think the pink cloud has kept me positive and moving forward. I’ve done lots of “recovery work” during this initial stage simply because I don’t trust myself to stick with it. The AA steps and other stuff I’m reading has been a major help.