It’s been a full year since my rock bottom.
And only a week since my last “drunk.”
Damn it’s a pain to admit, but I’m still an alcoholic. Sobriety has been great, but I always find a way to get that first drink. Sometimes it’s dramatic, usually it’s just something to do. A few weeks later and it’s back to everyday to stupid levels.
Then comes another “fresh start.”
They get easier, I know that drinking isn’t the real me anymore. I’m certain that alcohol brings nothing positive to my life. But here I am, still wondering how long this time will last.
Some things have changed – new apartment, finalized divorce, and some new business projects. Other things are about the same – living with guilt, lost my identity, and turned 40.
Most days I’m sad.
But today I’m feeling a hint of hope again.