It’s been a full year since my rock bottom.
And only a week since my last “drunk.”
Damn it’s a pain to admit, but I’m still an alcoholic. Sobriety has been great, but I always find a way to get that first drink. Sometimes it’s dramatic, usually it’s just something to do. A few weeks later and it’s back to everyday to stupid levels.
Then comes another “fresh start.”
They get easier, I know that drinking isn’t the real me anymore. I’m certain that alcohol brings nothing positive to my life. But here I am, still wondering how long this time will last.
Some things have changed – new apartment, finalized divorce, and some new business projects. Other things are about the same – living with guilt, lost my identity, and turned 40.
Most days I’m sad.
But today I’m feeling a hint of hope again.
Hey – nice to see you post again. It is February. Plenty of time for you to have more sober days this year than last — at least that’s what I’ve been telling myself and striving for as my “success” this year. Hang in there — you’re not alone — lots of us struggle with repeat quits. Q
Good to hear that there’s still hope.
On a personal level, I’ve been using Naltrexone this year as part of The Sinclair Method. It’s not a miracle cure but it takes away most of the desire to drink and let’s me focus on other things.
If you haven’t looked at this method already, I’d suggest that you might like to give it a try.
All the best.
Oh, and Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
First time here, reading your blog. I second the previous comment about the Sinclair method. According to studies it works very well for 78 alcoholics out of 100. It returns your brain to pre-addicted state, where you do not have cravings anymore. It has improved my life a lot, drinking dropped 2/3rds. Good luck!