I’m learning to be spiritual again, mostly through the serenity prayer and trying to live out Jesus’ golden rule. I believe in a higher power, but that hasn’t made me forget the lower power of addiction that I used to worship.
When I was drinking, addiction was my only religion and alcohol my false god.
— Sober Tony (@sobertony) April 23, 2017
In that spirit, I’m offering this anti-prayer for rebuking the addiction whisper in my brain.
The Addict’s Anti-Prayer
My former false god.
One request I will make,
get out of my head.
I don’t want your courage in a bottle,
your wisdom on a bar stool,
or the serenity of passing out.
Your name is shit,
Your kingdom is a prison,
Your heaven is nothing but hell.
You’ve stolen my daily bread,
You’ve led me into trespass,
You’ve left me defenseless against temptations,
You’ve delivered me into evil for the last time.
For you have lost your kingdom,
all that remains is your shame.
In Jesus’ name,
** To my religious readers, I know ADDICTION isn’t actually a demon who can hear my monologue. I have two degrees in Theology, so that makes me an armchair expert on heresy, a skill I am happy to share with the world through satire. God knows I’m a mess, and we’ve got a 12 step program for that.