Doing yard work is something I missed living in my Haitian ghetto.
I’m back in the USA — again.
Mowing the lawn is part of my life. Since I was 12 years old, it’s been a weekly summertime ritual. This is my meditation, exercise, and nature time.
Life is good (and normal) when I’m pushing that little mower.
Second guessing mental health
I’ve been rethinking my bipolar medicine and diagnosis. This week I’m getting a second opinion on those and focusing instead on getting a stable lifestyle.
Mood swings are typical after a person hits rock bottom and tries to claw their way out. That’s not something medicine can fix.
Pills can’t fix my unsettled lifestyle:
- Irregular sleep
- Not enough exercise
- Bouncing between culture (Haiti & USA)
- Poor nutrition
- Lack of daily routine
- Sketchy relationships
- Broken spiritual habits
All those things directly affect my mood. Why should I expect stable emotions if everything else is a mess?
Medicine stopped working
The first few weeks, I thought the meds were helping. Then I visited Haiti again and my mood swings returned. They especially trended downward towards depression.
What was the difference?
It was that list of lifestyle issues. While in America, I can structure a better lifestyle. While in Haiti, I’m basically on house arrest.
Nothing on the list above can be fixed with Depakote. So now I’m rethinking the bipolar medicine and focusing on living a healthy lifestyle.
Balanced lifestyle is point 4 in SMART Recovery. Many would argue it’s the principle behind steps 10, 11, and 12 in AA.
So today I’m facing life with the same goals as before:
- Stay sober.
- Get stable.
- Be present for my kids
I’m just looking for better strategies for #2.