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Sobriety Bloggers Shoutout: Parenting, Poems, and Resentment

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One good thing about living in house arrest (or was it just a safe house?), I’ve had lots of time to interact with fellow sober bloggers. Here are a few posts I wanted to share from this past week. Enjoy.

Bird – I love your poems, they are something I look forward to reading everyday when I open my WordPress reader. OLD WAR TALES was especially powerful for me this week. It’s hard to block quote it without sharing the whole, so everyone else should just click-through and read it.

Jane – You made me cry this week. Your poem the THE DARK LANE put me in the shoes of my kids, waiting for their addict dad to come back. I needed to feel that.

Your last word was “Tomorrow,”
spoken with confidence and hope.
I reached for you,
crying, “Today, please, today,”
but you turned away
to take one last walk down the dark lane.

Seriously Sober – I already said this in the comments, but the post about RESENTMENT TOWN perfectly captured what I’ve been learning about my own resentments.

The literature tells me that my problems are largely of my own making and that when I find myself hurt, I always have placed myself in a position to be hurt.

Instead of looking inward for the solution, I started looking outside of me for the cause. Queue the blame game.

Melanie – Your poem MY CHILD was on my mind this week because I’m visiting my mom. By some miracle I arrived on her birthday (which was complete accident because I didn’t know.) Even with her own struggles, she’s trying to be there for me. I think you wrote what she would say if she had the words. It gave me courage for this week.

I don’t have all the answers and will take one step at a time, one day at a time, with you all the way.

You have always been enough. You have always been a blessing. You will always be my child.

Lynn – I’m new to your blog and somehow I stumbled on your post about saying FUCK IT when life is too much. This is the kind of spirituality that really resonates with me right now. It’s like the serenity prayer with profanity.

The Fuck It way teaches you how to live in the moment, how to enjoy the now and how to say Fuck It when things in your life are not what you want. Fuck It and change it, or Fuck It and accept it, but to stop making it a problem in your life.

Ryan (and HT Daniel for posting) – You post about PERSONAL GROWTH was important for me to read. I was beat-up when I was a kid and as a drunk daddy my kids knew I was dangerous too. I hate to even remember those times, it’s one reason I walked out. I’m working on step 4 about honesty and this post reminded me what my addict mind wanted to forget.

Protect those weaker than you at all costs. You cannot be punished for how they react and you should never feel regret for doing the right thing. When I reflect upon my experience, I know that I did what I needed to do to keep my brother safe.

Brady – I loved this idea about COMPLIMENTS, exactly the kind of world I want to help create. Good job.

A simple act of paying another a compliment has been amazing, not only for others, but for myself as well. Intentionally focusing on paying others a compliment has proven to be very helpful. Actively thinking about others other than myself has been very uplifting and I felt a definite sense of ‘connectedness’ with others. Overall, the experiment proved to be a great success to myself.

Real Life blogger – I really enjoyed your post about ADDICTION THE AUTHORITARIAN. I think we’re on the same path with our metaphors, I’ve been calling addiction a bully and tyrant a lot this week. Let’s call him out and then fight back together.

Fighting addiction’s tyranny requires education, vigilance, openness, work, empathy, and love. Fight addiction. Resist stigma. Love others. End the opioid epidemic.

Resist.

Louisa – I found your blog through WordPress Reader and it suggested one of your older posts HOW ALCOHOL FUCKS UP YOUR BRAIN. Great information and exacted the right verb. I’m glad my brain is getting better, your last paragraph gave me some hope.

The good news is that studies also show all these physical processes can be reversed by long-term abstinence, while the spiritual malady – thank god! – can be cured via the 12 steps.  A healthy body is really just the means to an end – usefulness and the joy of living, which we’ve been granted in sobriety.

Sharon – The article about children of alcoholics was important for me this week. I’m back in the USA visiting my kids and I’m trying to understand their experience better. This helped me talk to my kids this week.

Children mistakenly believe they did something that makes them unlovable or that caused their Mom or Dad to drink. They fantasize that if they could only be perfect, their parents would love them. In reality, of course, their parent’s drinking wasn’t caused by them and they can’t fix it.

Susanne – You’ve been a good friend to me on Twitter and I’ve loved following your recovery story too – funny how the Psalms are always relevant too!

So much happened on Twitter this week. The recovery posse was my lifeline on my worst days. Here are a few tweets you might enjoy.

Related posts:

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About Sober Tony

Tony is the founder and editor of Daily Recovery Club. He is a widely respected authority (in his own mind). He's just trying to live a little longer and a lot stronger.

This blog is not professional or medical advice, rather a support community for others suffering from alcoholism. We are all experts on failure, starting over, and trying to laugh at the absurdity of it all. Find him on Twitter @soberTony

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Comments

  1. janebasilblog says

    Thank you for the shout out, Tony, and congratulations on your sobriety. Your kids have a daddy to be proud of. addiction is something that happens – it’s not premeditated. Getting clean is something you have to work at, and it’s tough.

    Reply

    • Sober Tony says

      It’s been a good week. Some really positive conversations with the older kids about what happened and what comes next. That poem was a serious help to me.

      Reply

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