Wahoo 🎉 today is just over 3 weeks without a drink.
My recovery started over two years ago. The longest win streak was 100 plus days, but most of the time I’ve been a mess.
It always “feels” different this time…
I want to make sure I’m not fooling myself. That’ what this post is about – a list of what’s actually different this time compared to my previous adventures in sobriety.
- I’m been stable😎 like same exact bed every night for 7 months stable.
- I’m working again 👷♂️ both on my business and in a real job.
- I’m afraid 😨 not that I was killing myself but how I kept hurting others.
That’s the true part. I had a few other things I could write, but they looked like lies one I wrote them out. I’ll call them aspiration for now and save it for next time.
Something caught my ear in my meeting tonight, during the promises reading:
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it . . . That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.AA Promises (from the book Alcoholics Anonymous page 83-84 )
This is part of the longer reading, but I quoted the parts that really caught my attention tonight. Regrets have been dominating my mind these first few weeks back into recovery.
- Why didn’t I get this right 2 years ago?
- Why do I keep hurting the very people who refused to give up on me?
- How can I ever forgive myself for the damage I’ve done?
I know the answer starts with doing the work. That’s what the promises represent, our positive outcomes from moving forward in sobriety.
Thanks for reading – your comments are always give me a little boost!
matt howley says
Get over yourself tony
Sober Tony says
I’d love to be someone else 😂😂😂 but I’m kinda stuck living between these ears.
So good to see you back, Tony!
Where’s the update???!!!
Sober Tony says
It’s long overdue – hope to write some this week.
Mr. Ed says
There could be a million blogs out there like this, but I found yours. It is helpful, and I pray that your absence is a sign of progress in the right areas and not of despair or failure.