What’s going right (so far)?

Wahoo today is just over 3 weeks without a drink.

My recovery started over two years ago. The longest win streak was 100 plus days, but most of the time I’ve been a mess.

It always “feels” different this time…

I want to make sure I’m not fooling myself. That’ what this post is about – a list of what’s actually different this time compared to my previous adventures in sobriety.

1. I’m been stable like same exact bed every night for 7 months stable.
2. I’m working again both on my business and in a real job.
3. I’m afraid not that I was killing myself but how I kept hurting others.

That’s the true part. I had a few other things I could write, but they looked like lies one I wrote them out. I’ll call them aspiration for now and save it for next time.

Something caught my ear in my meeting tonight, during the promises reading:

We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it . . . That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.

AA Promises (from the book Alcoholics Anonymous page 83-84 )

This is part of the longer reading, but I quoted the parts that really caught my attention tonight. Regrets have been dominating my mind these first few weeks back into recovery.

• Why didn’t I get this right 2 years ago?
• Why do I keep hurting the very people who refused to give up on me?
• How can I ever forgive myself for the damage I’ve done?

I know the answer starts with doing the work. That’s what the promises represent, our positive outcomes from moving forward in sobriety.

Thanks for reading – your comments are always give me a little boost!