There was a time when I thought of alcohol as my friend. It was my wingman, my ride-or-die, my brother for life. When I needed a lift, it was always there. I would imagine that drinking somehow gave me stress relief and the fun times that would make the rest of my life manageable.
That was total shit.
After 25 days sober, I know better.
Alcohol has done nothing-zero-zilch to help me or make my happy. It was never my friend, only a lying chemical hell-bent on bringing me down.
A true friend would never intentionally …
- Get you fired
- Take all your money
- Destroy your other relationships
- Ruin all your hobbies
- Get you arrested
- Crash your car on a joyride
- Waste all your free time
- Embarrass you at parties
- Manipulate you until you feel co-dependent
- Send rude text messages to your ex-lovers
- Attempt to drown you in the ocean
- Hook you up with an STD
- Force you to barf out the window
- Hit your spouse / kids / dog
- Make you feel worthless
- Destroy your health
- Waste your money on strippers
- Steal your dreams
- Leave you passed out in an alley
- Refuse every ounce of responsibility
- Blame your “addictive personality” for all the trouble they caused
- Keep showing up after you ended the relationship
- Gamble away the child support money you owe
All that is what you’d expect from your worst enemy. That’s exactly what alcohol became in my life. Nobody has done more to harm me than this malevolent chemical. That fact should be obvious to everyone, but I was the last to notice.
You’re over. Don’t call me.
Today is 25 days sober for me. I’m doing lots of reading and self discovery. The cravings are non-existent at this point. Mood swings continue but with less intensity. Sleep was wonderful last night, probably because I was exhausted.
Everyday I’m learning something new and trying to write about it here on the blog. This has been the most exciting month of my life. I’ve never felt so free and completely alive. All of that because drinking is not a part of my life. There is no moderation with something dedicated to destroying your life.
I’ll leave you with this quote from Allen Carr, I’m working through one of his books now.